Comfort and communication
Agree on Control Before Sharing a Connected Toy
A saved app connection is not standing permission to activate or adjust a device. Agree on the current session, the controls and the way to stop before any partner-control feature is used.
Make the invitation specific
Ask whether the other adult wants to use the feature now. RAINN's consent guidance emphasises that agreement is voluntary, specific and ongoing. Past agreement or a relationship does not replace a present choice.
Agree on what can change
Discuss whether adjustments require a check-in and how a pause will be communicated. Keep the language simple enough to use immediately. If either person is uncertain, stop and clarify rather than treating silence as permission.
Confirm an independent stop
The person using the device should know its documented stop method. Check it away from the body before relying on phone or remote control. Do not assume losing a connection will stop the device unless its instructions confirm that behaviour.
End the access deliberately
Use the provider's documented session-ending controls and review any saved sharing permissions. Dear Tingle's access review guide explains why closing an app may not revoke future access.
Choose a private setting that does not involve unsuspecting people. Technology should make agreed control understandable; it should not create surprise participation or pressure to continue. You can decide not to use a connected feature even after buying a product that offers it.
General information from Dear Tingle, not a diagnosis or an individual treatment plan.